Friday, August 06, 2010
Revealed! Singapore's Strategic Plan
When it was first announced earlier this year the Football Association of Singapore's Strategic Plan to help develop and improve football in the city state was warmly received in all quarters. FIFA head Sepp Blatter called it the most comprehensive document of its type he had ever seen while US President Barack Obama said at last here was a plan that could bring a lasting peace to the Middle East within a generation. Paul McCartney went further and said the plan was so good he could see the Beatles reforming.
Amid the hyperbole however the plan was short on detail but after months of exhaustive investigative journalism Jakarta Casual can finally dot the tees and cross the i's on this most detailed of plans.
The success of the Plan hinges on two factors. Fandi Ahmad's sons. One is 13, the other 11 and they have been wooing European sides for a couple of years now. Presently they are in England at a competition and their form has been such that Arsenal have asked them to stick around for trials.
The powers that be in Singapore are convinced that were the two lads to make the grade in Europe it would have a knock on effect in Singapore with locals rediscovering their pride in their own back yard and flocking back to watch local games.
There is of course a Plan B in the unlikely event that the boys don't make the grade or decide they want to be train drivers.
Thanks to sterling work by the indefatigable Mabel I can reveal that there are plans in place to significantly increase the attendances at SLeagues in the short and near term. Mabel, in her brand new beer outfit, has revealed that officials plan to stop people in the streets near stadiums on game nights, put bags on their heads and drag them to the stadium. Once inside the bags will be removed and they will be given free chicken rice and 10 dollars for a cab home on the understanding they do not try and leave the game before the end.
Officials are looking into the prospect of having the bags sponsored. 'The aim,' Mabel explained, 'is to introduce a new breed of fan to the game and hopefully they will tell their friends.' And of course fans can keep and collect the bags to be redeemed against things like mobile phones or cable TV subscription.
Mabel was coy about her source but I can exclusively reveal that she has been intimate, if you know what I mean, with a very senior person close to the Strategic Plan. Of course Jakarta Casual can not name names but suffice to say the white haired, asthmatic, chain smoking uncle has a penchant for dressing up in super hero outfits and licking nasi lemak off Mabel's naked body.
In another revolutionary step forward to making Singapore football 'cool' the government is looking at making local schools support their local team. The idea is that every home and some away games schools will have to send a minimum number of students to the game where they will be forced to wear club colours and will be encouraged to cheer for their new local heroes.
This is seen as a particularly good wheeze because of course all good ideas emanate from the government and if they say it is cool then of course it must be and then the herd mentality will kick in.
So while it's ever onward and upward for Singapore football, Mabel can never watch another Batman or Spiderman movie.
# posted by Me @ 12:58 AM 
